December 6, 1996 GAY PEOPLE's ChronicLE 11

SPEAK OUT

Army and CIA scandals have an obvious solution

by Hastings Wyman, Jr.

Two heterosexual scandals have erupted in recent weeks in the U.S. Army and in the Central Intelligence Agency. The lesson the nation must learn from these disturbing events is that the time has come to ban heterosexuals from the military and other institutions concerned with preserving our nation's security.

The worse scandal-which is still unfolding-involves sexual harassment on a severe and massive scale in the American military. Thousands of enlisted women are coming forward with allegations that they were sexually abused by male officers. While the brass appears to be diligent in finding and punishing

the

guilty, the wide-

spread nature of the Occurrences they

were so common-

place as to give the

zons, ferocious women warriors, each of whom sliced off one of her breasts as a sign of bravery. The army of ancient Greece contained the Theban Band, a group of gay men paired with their lovers whose courage so impressed Alexander the Great that he wept when his own military force vanquished them.

Today, there are those who hold negative stereotypes about the fighting abilities of homosexual men and women. They believe gay men are "sissies," and that lesbians, being women, are of "the weaker sex," with neither possessing the strength or meanness necessary for combat.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Since heterosexuals' uncontrollable propensities and decadent habits make

The military recruiters could set up shop in the leather bars all across America and sign up plenty of tough men-hairy-chested,

them easy prey for Russia's jack-booted, metal-

lie to the "isolated KGB, they should be barred

incident"

fense-suggests

that a much more

from working at the CIA.

radical solution is called for, to wit, banning heterosexuals from military service altogether.

Some critics of the armed services contend that these problems could be solved by segregating the sexes in the military, but that would only be a half-measure. Heterosexual men are perfectly capable of scaling a wall to commit a sexual offense. The more effective solution would be to bar heterosexuals from the military, recruiting, instead, gay men and lesbians exclusively for the nation's defense.

Homosexual women and men have long histories of valiant military service. Greek mythology contains references-thought to be based on historical reality-to the Ama-

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studded jock-strap tough. As for lesbians, the Dykes on Bikes, the hit of every gay pride parade in the country, would make an equally fertile source of physically strong recruits for the military, as would women's rugby and other contact sports teams. And if you're looking for attitude, the politically active Lesbian Avengers have a spirit every bit as aggressive as anything you're likely to find in today's army.

The military, however, is not the only U.S. institution facing a heterosexual problem. We have now learned that a top CIA officer, heterosexual Harold Nicholson, has been arrested and accused of selling secrets to the Russians to finance his relationship with a younger woman. Moreover, this is the second such occurrence at the CIA in recent years. Convicted spy and heterosexual

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Aldrich Ames, another CIA-er who sold secrets and sold out U.S. agents abroad--was motivated by his wife's demands for a lavish lifestyle.

Since heterosexuals' uncontrollable propensities and decadent habits make them easy prey for Russia's KGB, they should be barred from working at the CIA. This country cannot afford threats to our security in the very agency responsible for protecting the nation.

Moreover, the United States could get along very well with an intelligence agency of homosexual men and women. For starters, spies often need to disguise themselves, a task well-suited to cross-dress-

STOP

ers, who are more often (though not exclusively) found in the gay and lesbian community. For example, when Nicholson identified American agents to the Russians, the expensively trained spies lost their usefulness. Had they been transvestites, they could simply have put on drag and adopted a new identity as a member of the opposite sex.

Barring heterosexuals from the military and the CIA would go a long way toward preventing breaches in the nation's security, but it would just be a start. The next step would be for Congress to hold hearings to find out if there are any heterosexuals in the State Department.

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